So I owe tons of updates. Been super lazy in blogging, and I haven't been helped by getting crushed in January results wise. I've started off the year running super bad in poker but blahh blahh blah I'm tired of thinking about it and bitching about it. Nobody cares how bad anyone else runs, and there's no purpose and dwelling on it.
Poker, just like life, doesn't owe me anything. I can't just sit down, load up tables and expect to win. Even when i play great I can't control variance, and feeling entitlement is the worst sense of lethargy that can plague a person who competes for a living. There's a reason Kobe Bryant is who he is and Vince Carter/Tim Thomas/Tracy McGrady are who they are. Kobe busts his ass, is never satisfied, is always hungry, is maniacal in wanting to improve. Kobe looks a downswing in the face and says "Fuck you downswing, I'm a monster". Vince Carter makes excuses for why he's losing, he blames the cards, his unluckiness, anything that takes the responsibility for his results off of his shoulders. Vince runs from adversity/Kobe embraces it. Vince is happy being a solid NBA player, Kobe won't rest until he's discussed legitimately as the best ever. I wanna be Kobe, not Vince.
The past week and half or so I finally started asking myself some tough questions: Am i playing my A game as often and as long as I'm able? Am i tilting and not recognizing it? Am i making bad decisions and dismissing them as unlucky? It's just mathematically impossible to put in the amount of hands i will this year (around 3 million or so) and not have stretches where i run horrifically. I need to be a man, stay mentally and emotionally strong and say "fuck you downswing, I'm a monster".
Numbers wise I'm at 100,000 vpps on the year, or 10% of the way to supernova elite. I'm ready to keep grinding it out do the damn thing.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment